When my father passed away, I caught myself praying the same prayer for him that night, as I did every night, since he was told he’s only got a few months to live. In the middle of the prayer I realized what I’m doing and broke down and asked God how do I do this. How do I just remove him from my prayer list?
It feels like I’ve gone through the ordeal with him in the last three years since his diagnoses. Never mind the last few difficult months before his death. I sat next to his bed praying and feeling hopeless, knowing I can do nothing to ease the pain.
God reminded me; He had to watch, knowing He could do something to ease His Son’s suffering, but chose not to do anything, because of us. Even though He loves His Son, He love us so much that He chose to allow His Son’s suffering. There may have been a point where His Father heart could not take it anymore and He turned His eyes away for a moment. But He suffered with His Son for us.
God knows you and your feelings and heartache and struggles. He chose you, He sacrificed for you so that you may have life.
I don’t need to take my father off my prayer list. I now pray: Thank you Father, for the opportunity to have been there with my father and to go through the process with him. For the mercy and grace you showed him and giving him the opportunity to prepare for his Godly appointment. To be with You.
Shalom